Mocktails Or Messy
Mocktails Or Messy
#49: Chickens, Sobriety, Kelly's Birth Trauma: Revealed!
Join us LIVE for a raw, unfiltered celebration straight from our studio! 🥂 After finally hitting 10,000 followers on Instagram (we did it!), we’re popping bottles (alcoholic AND non-alcoholic, because why not?) to mark this huge milestone!
Kelly's Dream Come True 🌾: From childhood dreams to reality, Kelly shares her journey of buying her very own homestead! Chickens? Ordered. Goats? On the waitlist. 🐓🐐 Plus, she's already planning vegetable gardens and berry patches — it's the farm life she’s always wanted.
Ryan’s Year of Sobriety & Butterfly Effects 🦋: Ryan dives into his evolving dating life after a year of sobriety, talking about the surprising butterfly effects and new connections he’s experiencing. Trust us, it’s not what he expected!
Real Talk on Birth Experiences 🤰: The conversation gets deep as Kelly opens up about her traumatic delivery stories, and we discuss the things society doesn't want us to share about childbirth and our bodies. It's time to get real about these tough topics that need more space.
Sober Socializing Tips 🍸: We’re answering YOUR questions on how to navigate social situations without alcohol, from bowling nights to outdoor adventures. Plus, we share our all-time favorite mocktail recipe (that Amethyst botanical spirit + Dirty Pelican’s spicy margarita mix? chef’s kiss).
And the best part? We’re here, full circle, embracing the messy, the vulnerable, and the authentic. This episode is all about celebrating evolution and reclaiming our truth—no more holding back, just real conversations. 💯
So, whether you’re sober, sober-curious, or just looking for more honest relationships with alcohol and yourself, this episode’s for YOU.
👉 Drop a comment below if you're on a similar journey. We're cheering for you every step of the way!
Mocktails Or Messy podcast
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Welcome to Mocktails or Messy. This is Ryan Frankowski and Kelly Mazgorski. Welcome. We are live for the first time in the clubhouse, in the studio Me. We got our crew over here. We got Peter Parker and Liza Minnelli Say hi.
Speaker 2:They like to be behind the scenes did you order him a car.
Speaker 1:Oh fuck, okay, so you're gonna have to like, yeah, okay, yeah, we're ordering a car, so we have a guest coming later and we are. He said he wants to get really messy so he's like you gotta order a car for me. I'm not gonna be showing up there with a car and then have to like uber home or drive home or you know. No, nobody's drinking and driving anymore, that's that's not a thing, that's so 2005 exactly.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's kind of fucked up and messy to say, but it is true, like people would just take advantage or they would just fuck around.
Speaker 1:And, like you know, I remember, I will say, the one time we went to jay's other place on route 8, and this was when we just turned 21 oh my gosh, I wasn't 21 yet you were 20 and had a fake id yeah oh my god, okay, so let me order this car but jay's other place, I, we, we got fucked up because we were at the poorhouse on route eight in hampton and then we were like we want to go somewhere more fun and we want to get, like you know, lit and I don't know why. We thought that was a good idea and drive, and I remember this was the one and only time I saw the lines on the road when we're going home and it was like blurry lines on the road and I'm like never again oh my god, I was in the car with you and I was driving your car, the ford escort oh my god, we would have died in that that thing was like paper thin um that's scary.
Speaker 1:I didn't know that that was stupid but yeah we.
Speaker 2:That was like the first time I'd ever been to a bar yeah and they didn't even question my fake id.
Speaker 1:I know you I guess you were young. You were young for our year. You were in june with us. I think we just did a lot of things by ourselves right yeah, is it because we were losers and didn't have that many friends, or we just like, didn't want to be bothered with anyone else?
Speaker 2:it was exclusive, so we are. Yes, we're ordering a car for gregory because yeah, don't get it twisted. He hates greg okay, we're not gonna call him greg yes he said that we don't have enough messy. People on mocktails are messy yeah, you believe that like which. Maybe he's right. Maybe we need to make it a little messier. I guess I mean we definitely, once you got this car ready I know from both of us. I'm gonna open up this corbel champagne because I have a drink that I'm gonna make today in celebration of something.
Speaker 2:So I'm gonna open this up and try to not get myself a black eye uh-huh yeah I always struggle with these because they scare me.
Speaker 1:I know, and now Corbel.
Speaker 2:Maybe I need your help.
Speaker 1:I did. I just want to try to share this with him. Do you want to see? We'll flip. Okay, flip flop, flip fuck.
Speaker 2:I'm going to tap out, you tap in. We're going to ride this train together.
Speaker 1:Do you know what flip fuck means in the gay world?
Speaker 2:No, tell me.
Speaker 1:Okay. So it's like whenever there's somebody that is like a top, that prefers to like be the dominant one, like go in and then like they will flip. Like the guy who's the bottom is like the one who likes to take it, like the catcher, the pitcher. So when somebody says flip, fuck, it's like they like to go back and forth, so they're versatile.
Speaker 2:If you were a gay man, what would you be? I would be a top.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you probably would. What are you? I'm total verse. I used to be like dom-top.
Speaker 2:You're flip-flop.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but then everybody laughed at me. They were like you're not a dom-top, are you fucking crazy, you little fucking queen? What's dub dom, oh, dom, yeah, yeah, like meaning like dominantly, like dominantly top oh, gotcha okay yeah, I mean it's just a little like gay gayisms, culture yeah, for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you think I would know it all, but I don't.
Speaker 1:You're still a little green, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess it's just not like the life I'm living right now. I am a stay at home, mom yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we, we, we do address that every time. You know. You got to remind everybody you are a stay at home mom with two kids that are running around People.
Speaker 2:just they just don't believe it, because I'm just so cool.
Speaker 1:I'm just kidding. I still don't believe it. I even think your friends are always like how are you doing this? As much as I knew you were going to be a mom, but it's kind of surreal. You are actually a very responsible adult now, Thank you.
Speaker 2:I never thought the day would come.
Speaker 1:honestly, but you're not responsible where you get the good shit. You got the Corbel.
Speaker 2:What made you?
Speaker 1:decide this brand.
Speaker 2:What was at the price? That's my husband. He's cheap.
Speaker 1:Okay, what is wrong with me? So next time don't. Okay, we're going to pop it.
Speaker 2:Plan your. Why can't I share this Woo?
Speaker 1:Woo, okay. Popping bottles, bitch and body waddle Just Is just. Is that a song?
Speaker 2:yeah, that is a song. I cannot figure out how to like share that, I know, I think we have to wait to like share it.
Speaker 1:I mean me and you. It's like the blind leading the blind when it comes to certain things like technology.
Speaker 2:We gotta focus on our, on our life, okay, so I am making a new beginning. Mimosa, today I have the, the real stuff. There's alcohol in this and you have the alcohol free.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, and we owe it to your husband for picking up, you know. Hey, let's be real here. Like sometimes you just got to be cheap, and I'm not saying he's a cheapskate, but like these are not my go-tos. But free isn't good, okay, sorry.
Speaker 2:I'll buy you the expensive stuff next time.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying, jesus Christ, you're such a snob, now that you're climbing the real estate ladder you're turning into a snob.
Speaker 2:Now you're making more money.
Speaker 1:Oh God, I know. So I have Corbel.
Speaker 2:Or you can have whatever champagne you want, and I have cranberry juice Cranberry, cranberry.
Speaker 1:It's the best, so I'm going to put a splash in bigger than okay.
Speaker 2:So actually that was cute, okay, listen. So when you make a mimosa, are you the type that is like all champagne and one little drop, or are you like 50, 50, 25, 75? Let's see um this is how I do. I'm the drop, I literally do the camera pretty much all champagne okay, so I'm gonna do my champagne. Is it working okay, filled up like that? And then I'm gonna take my cranberry juice and I'm gonna try not to spill it everywhere yeah, I know we gotta get you a smaller bottle and, um, okay, just like that.
Speaker 2:Yep, just a little splash. I don't know if I got that on the camera, but just a splash. And then what I'm gonna do now is I'm gonna take some fresh mint and I'm just gonna, um, put it in there just like that. Wow, so pretty that is so cute.
Speaker 1:You know it's all about the garnish guys Whenever we're doing like you're the messy. Today You're doing an alcoholic champagne like the legit, the real, the OG champagne, and when you do have those garnishes it just makes such a huge difference Like it could be sparkling water, it could be something in a fancy glass Like get the garnish guys, it's delicious, delicious. It just makes it look a little bit more presentable and like more fun to drink now a new beginning.
Speaker 2:Mimosa it's a symbolic drink, so it's typically um it. It represents like a fresh start, positive change, and boy do we have a lot to share today. Damn, I mean if you're invested, if you've been following us since episode one that was over a year ago over a year ago. We we have some hefty goals and we've been working on them for, yes, a long time now here so first we did break 10 000 followers on instagram let's go, let's fucking go they would never come.
Speaker 2:it's like, when you're getting putting yourself out there, sometimes it can just feel so stagnant and it's like how do we get more followers? How do we?
Speaker 1:Well, I got to give you credit. You were the reason we did, because you put to turn Tony involved in our episode and made that really cute video Like why do we like to turn Tony? Why do we want to support him?
Speaker 2:Because he's hot. I think that one video did get us out there a bit and, um, you know, just working with our friends and stuff, and figuring things out that's fucking good girl you're right, the mint really like adds a little okay, so we we hit 10 000 yes, we did, we did.
Speaker 1:baby, let's go.
Speaker 2:You're crushing it with real estate.
Speaker 1:Well, let's be real here. Real estate is just crushing it because of the context, the sphere of influence. Like I'm also very on edge, like I am going out for everybody. I am going to help your mother out, I'm going to help your cousin out, I'm going to help my best friends out. So the thing is, because it could dry up tomorrow, I could have, like, once we close on properties, you don't know who's your next client. It's kind of like an acting job.
Speaker 2:It's like once you finish the production, you are not guaranteed another job so you found me and my husband, my family, our dream house are we talking about? I'm gonna just say it.
Speaker 1:Okay, it would take a lot for this to follow.
Speaker 2:We're closing very soon.
Speaker 1:We are.
Speaker 2:Everything seems to be going well, right. Okay, nothing to be concerned about here.
Speaker 1:I love it.
Speaker 2:So I already ordered my chickens.
Speaker 1:Oh my, what Wait what? I ordered chickens online. How do you order?
Speaker 2:chickens. I went to a hatchery it's called Myers Hatchery and I just ordered them, so they're going to be shipped to me when they hatch.
Speaker 1:So I am so excited guys.
Speaker 2:I'm going to start with like the homesteading life that I've been wanting to do forever. I want to grow my own vegetables, some berries, apple trees, things like that that do well up north in our climate. I mean I wish I could grow lemon trees and stuff, but let's be real that's not going to work up north.
Speaker 1:That'll be for the next place. That'll be for the next stream home. That'll be for my LA or Miami home, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're moving and I'm so excited, I'm so excited for you. I'm on a wait list to get goats. I found a goat breeder, a pygmy goat, you really are going and you don't fuck around, you're like this is happening.
Speaker 2:This is happening this I've waited my whole life, since the day I was born, to be able to have like farm animals and things. So, um, I think my goats will be born in like june for a sec no, I can't chill.
Speaker 1:I'm no chill you have no fucking chill. I love it, but I'm also like I'm like nervous for you because I'm like I'm gonna have to help you with all this stuff, right?
Speaker 2:No, no, no, just don't let the house fall through, okay.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no. We are aggressively on top of it and you know that's the beautiful thing about working with your best friends, with your family. You get to see the magic happen and you get to see the dream home, like, prosper and like. I couldn't have seen a better. I showed you guys this place like on Zillow, like months ago, but you at the time were like it's not enough land.
Speaker 2:I know and I was like really hell bent on living in a particular location that I've recently like decided that's not actually what I want.
Speaker 1:No, I mean, listen as much as you could be the Wexford wife, the Wexford wife is really not that exciting. I mean it's cute, but it's like you're so close to there and then you're also like very close to like other things that we won't go into detail because we don't want to give away your location.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't need any stalkers. Been there, done that, had that before, I had that before.
Speaker 1:I had that too in new york yeah, that's some scary shit yeah and we're not saying that, not that like I don't want to sound like we're like that what like full of ourselves? The stalker thing I think we just sometimes like we forget to like maybe not put our address or our cell phone number.
Speaker 2:Oh hi, Casey Casey's watching. Oh, my God, is Casey watching? We want to get Casey in.
Speaker 1:I know I really want to get Casey in the studio, but she's like I don't want to talk about my life, I'm a private person and I'm like but you have so many good stories, Casey, we want you to come on. At least give us like two minutes of your time give us like two minutes of your time.
Speaker 1:I know, please, casey, come right now, before she decides to pick up and leave. You never know what's going on with Casey. She could be here, she could be there, she could be in Europe, she could be in Miami, she could be in New York. It's like she's all over the map and I swear to God, it's just the coffee I swear.
Speaker 2:You guys, it's hard friends. I haven't made a new friend in like two years and I finally made a new friend, casey, and we won't.
Speaker 1:We won't say that she's moving. Why? Because we don't know yet. We don't know because I think that like they're still trying to figure out, you know oh, okay, I just feel like she's, I mean she wants to, I think so I'm like oh please don't move. Well, she wants your life, she wants the little kids, she wants the homestead. Or maybe she is a city girl, though, like that's the one thing like you guys.
Speaker 2:I felt like when you met. You were like this Tight as fuck, but then you're the farm chick and she's the city slicker. Every city girl needs a farm girl, friend, bestie.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Bestie friend. You need that, you need that diversity right.
Speaker 1:I think you're right. I think you're right to balance each other out yeah, because I'm a city person and you're a country girl I like.
Speaker 2:Obviously I've never been raised in the country and I never lived in the country before, but it's something I always wanted. But you were a suburban chick that was out in the country for many, for many years you didn't even know the city of pittsburgh I was like shocked that you didn't know how to get around when I think about even my college, that I went to Slippery Rock, that was kind of country and I never realized like how country that was until recently. But that is okay, so that's my alarm to get my daughter.
Speaker 1:Oh, but nope.
Speaker 2:I don't have to get her. My husband's home.
Speaker 1:He's gonna go get her Because I was gonna say you know, sometimes you don't trust anybody to pick up your daughter, so you're always like I gotta go. And like we'll be mid conversation, mid recording, and you're like fuck, I didn't find the person that was going to get her, and then they're going to be five minutes late and I'm like Kelly, you're leaving me hanging on the fucking mic. But hey, it's your firstborn.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I get it. I actually don't get it, but I will get it, but I will get.
Speaker 2:Have you ever heard of misophonia?
Speaker 1:you always bring these good terms up. I have never heard of that I think I have it you have misophonia misophonia.
Speaker 2:I think I do phonia yeah what is it so?
Speaker 1:are there any like guess?
Speaker 2:does the sound of someone like chewing food or eating? Does that bother you?
Speaker 1:I'm that guy that does it.
Speaker 2:You do it, doesn't bother me, okay, does anything is there any sound that, like you hear it and it kind of like really bothers you, it triggers you. Maybe you get a little emotional or like angry.
Speaker 1:Yes, my babysitter growing up, for all intents and purposes the one that kind of like scarred us.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:She would always make these noises Like when she would get up off the couch.
Speaker 2:it was just annoying she'd get like, oh, like it's hard to get up like it was like annoying and I don't know what it was like a high pitch, like Is this real?
Speaker 1:I'm serious.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's so strange.
Speaker 1:God rest her.
Speaker 2:And she's not with us anymore. Rest in peace.
Speaker 1:God rest her.
Speaker 2:Even though she did traumatize you as a child.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's another. Well, we've talked about that before. We've covered that in later episodes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Other episodes. Anyways, I think I have it, but like not to spread like hate on men, but like sometimes when a man's voice is really deep and like loud it like pierces my ears.
Speaker 1:It like hurts.
Speaker 2:It like hurts my ears and it makes my head feel like it's going to explode.
Speaker 1:Like Brian's.
Speaker 2:Kind of yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Even my husband, he can, I'm like do not talk to me in that voice.
Speaker 1:So how does it like? Can you like mimic it, can you? Like I can't talk that low, okay, I can't talk that low, okay, but it's just like I probably can't either.
Speaker 2:See, that's a little low for me. You're getting a little low.
Speaker 1:Really yes, so you would rather. I like your tone.
Speaker 2:Your tone is fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got a little high pitched vibe to it. I like that.
Speaker 2:So but if you went like lower it's. I can't.
Speaker 1:I just can't.
Speaker 2:And asked chat gpt. I was like what the fuck is, what is this? And they're like you need to like chat gpt was like you need to seek help, like I need to talk to somebody and get help with this because, like I think I do, because I I get just very enraged and no hate. No hate on men, like not with a low voice, like please, no hate, it's just, I mean I can't I have the I would, so I would be actually more aroused and turned on by really I think some people are but for me it enrages me.
Speaker 1:I'm like shut up, stop talking like I can't, I can't listen to it.
Speaker 2:I see I I can't even imagine not being like oh, that's kind of hot well, I mean think of it this way like some girls have like really high pitched voices that's too much for me, but I also like appreciate it because it's so like. It's like wow, like mesmerizing I, I appreciate like a female voice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, but I watched that new uh amy schumer movie kind of kind of pregnant and it was so good, hilarious she, I swear she's getting funnier and funnier with each movie. So did you think it was too slapstick, like, like, was it like her though. It is her. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:No, I thought I was laughing out loud it was so pathetic to like fake a pregnancy, but I think it made some like real vulnerable points because like real vulnerable points, because like I have like friends in la that have like been really trying hard to get pregnant and like it has been so stressing them out, and I think, unfortunately, like that was very funny and I guess that gave shed some light on.
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely like. Did you feel that?
Speaker 1:yeah, yes but to go back to the movie, we'll go back to the funny parts no, I think the message was great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but also like kind of psychotic, like that she faked it hers. Yeah, yeah, like her character was definitely psychotic, but or maybe just like a real honest, vulnerable person that just got jelly, you know yeah I.
Speaker 2:It is kind of fucking weird like how, like I love that the other comedian, the like counselor in the movie that was like you need to seek help yes, you are so fucking ridiculous that you're like faking this fake baby bump yeah, no, but she, well, I wouldn't do that, but there was a quote that kind of, or like part of the movie that kind of was like oh yeah, that makes sense. Like they said that like women, like how many birth stories have you heard? And like we eternalize this like crazy traumatic experience and we just like never talk about it again, right, and it's like. It's like do you even know, like how you were born? Do you know your birth story?
Speaker 2:no like we just don't. People don't talk about it.
Speaker 1:I mean they talk about the good part. Yeah, like that, my, the guy, that the, the, what is it called? The, the doctor that has you?
Speaker 2:yeah he.
Speaker 1:His birthday was my birthday oh really and it was his 70th birthday, so he had to like expedite this process because I got a big 70th birthday. Oh my gosh and so his name was albert. But anyways, other than that, they didn't talk about the fucked up shit. Yeah, and like they just glamorize it, right?
Speaker 2:yes, you were the first person who told me I know and I've never shared it, so I'm just gonna share it today since yeah, be honest I. I mean, if this isn't what you want to hear, sorry, but I'm going to tell you everything that happened and I'm going to summarize it, though. So I was in labor for a very long time like the first with the first. Yeah, it was like 18 hours of like. Oh, yeah, it was.
Speaker 1:I know there's but that's probably normal right I think for a first time like definitely it takes.
Speaker 2:They normally don't just like slide on out of the first time? Well, yeah, because it's so tight sure, so my I was not dilating, so basically, you have a cervix in there and it's supposed to dilate so that the baby can come out, and mine just was like not, they had to induce me.
Speaker 2:I was over 40 weeks and so 40 is like nine months and some change yeah, I was like 40 weeks and four days and they gave me pitocin, which is supposed to it's like a hormone and it's supposed to put you into labor, and it just was. I was getting contractions but I was not dilating. Um, so I'm just like push, like finally I was dilated after using a peanut ball. I had to lay on my side with like this ball between my legs and like for some reason that worked I felt like I had to take a shit.
Speaker 2:I was like I think I have to poop and I'd already had an epidural so I couldn't walk. And then they checked me and it wasn't that I had to poop, it was the baby's head was starting to crown right oh my god, and it was just like a really bizarre did ryan or did your husband get to see it? He watched the whole thing. He's. I'm surprised he'll even touch me now I would. I would be traumatized from like what he saw but anyways, I'm pushing, and pushing, pushing.
Speaker 2:There was no progress and I refused to c-section like an idiot.
Speaker 1:They're trying to tell me like why did you not do?
Speaker 2:I just was like I didn't want the scar and I was like it was really like no, like I'm, I was on a. I was like I'm a woman and I'm going to do this like a woman and I'm gonna push this out of my like vagina like I'm supposed to like. It was like this I. It's not a good way of thinking and you had the drugs obviously I had.
Speaker 2:I did have the pitot. Yes, I had the um epidural, which I didn't think I was going to do that either, but holy shit, it hurt so bad I had to. Anyways, they had to cut me all the way, like to my asshole, like from coochie to asshole oh my god, coochie to ass, yeah yep, I all the way. Fourth degree there's a fourth degree tear and I tore up internally as well, oh my god. And then they had to suck her out.
Speaker 1:That's the shit that you don't hear, yeah then they had like a suction cup.
Speaker 2:They just suck her out too and like basically they're like you're really lucky that was the hardest delivery like that we've had. My, my doctor had been a gynecologist for like 30 plus years. He's like don't ever do this naturally again. Like you need a C-section next time. He was like very serious. He's like you know, I guess we're lucky we don't have to break her shoulder or anything to get her out. So my pubic bone just like comes down a little bit further, so like there's just not, there wasn't as much space to come out.
Speaker 1:Like you do I mean not to like say anybody like doesn't have a perfect. I think it's just like you. I cannot believe how big your belly got because you were so like little petite and you still are, but it's just like I can imagine.
Speaker 2:Like your frame. I ain't cute when I'm pregnant.
Speaker 1:Well, I turn into a tomato well, it's like crazy, because I think it makes sense, because, like, when you are without a baby, yeah, and even now, like you're just so little, like you don't have those, like oh, thank you.
Speaker 2:I'm just so little. I'm like, I'm like a little feather I'm going to blow away guys.
Speaker 1:Well, like you remember, like us in cross country, runners are a little.
Speaker 2:I'm going to tell my second birth story. It's two seconds long. So I go in with contractions and his heart rate was dropping and it was uh emergency c-section.
Speaker 1:Emergency c-section he's fine, you never told me that. Yes, I did, did I not did after like years later.
Speaker 2:But okay, yeah, why would you not? But those are my two birth stories and I want you to share yours below or tell me how you were born everyone has some crazy stories on how they were born.
Speaker 1:Ask your mom. Yeah, ask your mom how you were born.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm gonna ask her tonight yeah I'm gonna call her tomorrow I feel like we like talking about like it because it is suppressed.
Speaker 1:It is so suppressed I literally feel like talking about birth yes, and I think even from that movie, kind of pregnant, it did bring like a lot of like wow, like nobody talks about the hard shit or nobody talks about the bad parts, I mean you do when it's like fatal or very like yes, oh god, we never want to hear that.
Speaker 2:No, that was yeah, oh, and, like I know, I'm just running my mouth right now but this is an update so we did like a q a on instagram. And so people shared some stories and I did want to share that I got a frying pan for Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1:Okay, wait.
Speaker 2:Remember, I said I was going to amputate you guys.
Speaker 1:Is it a nice one?
Speaker 2:It's a cast iron frying pan. In his defense, I did ask for one.
Speaker 1:But you guys tell me.
Speaker 2:is that Valentine's Day appropriate?
Speaker 1:No, I'm like, are you kidding me? I love my boy, but like A fucking frying pan. He's my boy, but, like I'll be talking about this later, he's like it's expensive, I'll be having a problem.
Speaker 2:I'm like how much was it? He's like it was $200. Wanted the meat. Yeah yeah, he likes to cook his steaks on there, so it's not a valentine's day bullshit. So I went and I dropped like a couple hundred hundred on like new shoes, new kicks guys.
Speaker 1:I went and I got some new kicks.
Speaker 2:I was like, I'm just gonna do what I want. I like them do you like them?
Speaker 1:those are cool I do like them. I saw them and I was like damn they look, I got some other ones too.
Speaker 2:So, anyways, I got my way anyways, oh, and.
Speaker 1:I'm getting a new house. Oh my God, don't act so, fucking cocky girl.
Speaker 2:I need to shut up.
Speaker 1:I love it. Okay, ryan, this question we can be real with each other. This one is for you. So it says for someone who's sober, curious, what tips would you give them to enjoy a night out without feeling pressured to drink? Super curious, what are your tips? Um, to not feel pressured. Not feel pressured, okay. So I recently went out with a bunch of drinkers and there was a lot of like, discrepancy, like why don't you not drink? Like not a judgment place, but I could tell that it was like is this going to work? Like, are we going to like, are we going to vibe well tonight, like all four of us? And I think it's just having, truthfully, my mission behind the podcast and the message behind it is for people like me who don't have necessarily like a problem of relapsing or are not in a program, but I would definitely be open to going to AA as a program to support myself and others.
Speaker 1:But I just need a mocktail, I need a non-alcoholic beer, I need a fancy beverage, so like that's what my tip is If you give me a mocktail, ideally low sugar, please, and maybe not like $20. But if you give me a mocktail, ideally low sugar, please, and maybe not like 20. But if you give me a non-alcoholic beer, like, I'm happy, I'm with the crew okay, yeah, that's good advice right now now there's another.
Speaker 2:This leads me to the next question for you what is your favorite mocktail? Um, I would say it's definitely like probably amethyst or Dirty Pelican. But you tell me what is your favorite you?
Speaker 1:nailed it, it's a combination of the two. I like the Lemon Serrano, Amethyst non-alcoholic botanical spirit Shout out to Amethyst and our girl Jane Harmon. And then we also love Brian and his wifey at Dirty Pelican Mixers. So this is not just to like promote their brands, because we're getting a promo code to give to you guys. We don't get compensated just by, like you know, giving and sharing this. I love the jalapeno spicy margarita from Dirty Pelican Mix it with the lemon serrano. It is my favorite chef's kiss.
Speaker 2:Those two brands do have the best flavors.
Speaker 1:We have tried so many we've tried so many different ones and those two hands down are the best flavors and personally the amethyst. I like to drink it on rocks oh, it's so good, it gives you a little kick, yeah, and it actually tastes good, guys.
Speaker 2:It's not like that nasty fake liquor that tastes like shit.
Speaker 1:We've had that shit before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this actually tastes, it's quality amazing and it gives you that bite I love it.
Speaker 1:It's great, it's great.
Speaker 2:And then dirty pelican mixers I mean for and skinny too. So good, yeah, they're skinny and they're healthy, they're.
Speaker 1:I think they're organic too I know I need to get my facts. You know you gotta get your facts straight, baby so here's an interesting one.
Speaker 2:What do you both, what do you both navigate? Oh sorry, how do you both navigate friendships when one person is sober and the other drinks?
Speaker 1:oh, for both of us yeah okay.
Speaker 2:So I did at first, like my first couple months of being sober, I was having a hard time, like being on fun times with you, because I saw you having so much more fun than me and so I was like, oh god, you didn't know you didn't like intentionally do it, it's just like part of the process, I think.
Speaker 1:In some way, I think I just kind of needed to accept that, like you're gonna still have a good time, like you have to like your mindset.
Speaker 2:I never pressured him guys. You cannot be pressuring your friends to drink just because it might fit your agenda. I truly didn't care To me, I thought you were just as fun with or without it.
Speaker 1:Do you think that everybody feels that way? That is, in our posse, in our circle, in our crew?
Speaker 2:Yes, I do know that there's some people that made you feel, yeah, you know like they wanted the old ryan, that like, because, trust me, if you think he's crazy now, he is batshit crazy when he drinks and maybe maybe we don't want that guys I don't think that's just too much, because you know you're 34 years old I know I could look like you know like I did before whenever I was no come on.
Speaker 1:You always look great I don't know I was getting a big old pumpkin face from eating and drinking and fucking take out, and I think the thing it was a slippery slope because like then I was adding the pot and then I was adding the drinks and then I was adding the food and then I was like, oh, I'm not gonna work out tomorrow right, that's the one thing that'll get me sometimes like, if I drink, I don't, I totally don't want to work out the next day.
Speaker 2:Um, but you gotta just do it anyways. It makes you not want to drink then that day. I know anyways, okay, what is a fun, sober activity that you recommend?
Speaker 1:I think the best one is something very simple is go uh bowling I was going to say golf I was going to say golf, but bowling is so much fun you could like have a blast if there's good music on, like people can be drinking or you can be not drinking. I mean, what are your thoughts? What's a good fun sober?
Speaker 2:I mean any exercise cause. Please don't be drinking when you're exercising. You're going to hurt yourself, um, but I, I mean, I love just hiking and things like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think hiking is really like nice to be out in nature and just not like I've been so in the gym. And orange theory, like fitness classes, like sometimes we forget to just go for a walk outside or a run.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Cause I will say this I don't want to replace one you know problem with another problem per se. So like I would say like shopping or something, but then that, then that could get out of hand and, before you know it, you're spending too much money. So I I do, like you know, the things that are free, or, like you know, not gonna break your bank, like bowling.
Speaker 1:No, I know well, I think, oh, yeah, it is, it is um, but I do think, even like that reminds me I didn't even pay for the bowling, so I gotta find out like, oh, and I'm the sober one at this bowling alley with the group of friends that I kind of was having a great time with, not kinda.
Speaker 2:Was that here or in New York?
Speaker 1:That was in Pittsburgh, and this was this past weekend and it was so much fun, but I was the one that forgot to take my shoes back.
Speaker 2:I literally walked out of the place with the bowling shoes, so you were like the next bar. Yeah, I was on another level. I was the drunk one, sober. Yeah, I was the fucked up one, yeah, um, okay, so this one's good as an ex duo, exes duo. What's the most surprising thing you've learned about each other since the breakup?
Speaker 1:an ex-duo I. I didn't realize we were an ex-duo, but oh, because you know what somebody said yeah, exactly, I mean, I still kind of forget that we dated you know what? What was the last time?
Speaker 2:when we were dating was it in freshman year. It was in high school, guys um well, yeah was it freshman year, kind of in college. Was it sophomore? Oh yeah, it was kind of in college. Yeah, we'll call it a little like wing thing I, when I was dating you, you really did make me feel like I was like the hottest bitch around oh, no shit.
Speaker 1:So I like that. I didn't realize that I said that what, what, what do you think I did like? What did I do to make you feel that way?
Speaker 1:you're just so like lots of words touchy and words of affirmation um, that's good to know, yeah, so I think whenever, um that thing, I remember whenever we broke up at confirmation camp oh my gosh, we got in trouble my mom was like I'll never forget. Kelly was like mrs frankovsky, can I like talk to ryan? I think we need a little bit more time and like it was just like I don't know what we were doing. Were we like being like like flirty in the woods?
Speaker 2:we were being flirty, so we got separated at church camp and I mean, they put on a whole skit, they put on a skit. Then the counselors put on a skit for the camp yes about like how not to act like around jesus or whatever, yeah it was like a whole skit and it was because of us and everybody there knew it was because of us and it was so embarrassing I know, and they were almost like making us feel bad about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they definitely shamed us like they totally slut, shamed me totally and you I know and I I just thought to myself we were getting like everybody else like shit on us because they were like we have to sit through this shit now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, like all the activities, we could have been having a good time. I think lunch got delayed.
Speaker 1:People were a little hangry, just two flirts and church camp, you know yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, maybe don't do co-ed church camp. Yeah, right.
Speaker 1:That was probably the problem. I mean, that's why catholic schools, you know, keep them segregated.
Speaker 2:Keep the girls in one school and the boys in another.
Speaker 1:I'll never forget that that was great.
Speaker 2:Okay, what percentage of couples are lying about wanting to be monogamous?
Speaker 1:I think 50 or 60 yeah, 60, I think I do feel like now that I'm kind of like I I don't know like kind of like dating around, like having like these feelings, like these, like these butterfly effects.
Speaker 2:Oh, now that you mention it, I'm going to. I got some questions for you, okay, so I'm getting a little bit, do you want?
Speaker 1:me to answer it. Yeah, well, I mean oh, I thought you said 50%, Sorry oh so oh, I guess I no you said 50%, Sorry oh so, oh, I guess I um 50% of couples, I think I think it might be 55 to 60% couples that do not want to be monogamous.
Speaker 2:And I guess you gathered this. You gather this because of why do you think that?
Speaker 1:I just think, as humans, like we want to like have the partner. It's like we want to be like be like, you know, in this like courtship, this, like this private, like relationship that nobody can come in, and like feel jealous or insecure and like you want to feel safe in this like partnership. But then after a while, like most humans, it's like okay, you're not gonna want to eat the same thing every day, you're, you're want to get a little bit of variety, and that goes with like just human beings throughout life. Like I'm not saying like you can't be in a monogamous relationship. I just think eventually you start to like be like okay, should we try a threesome?
Speaker 2:okay, you're thinking 55 to 60 percent start to think this way yeah, yeah, you're probably right. I mean, as a female, I've had never I'll never say who, but I've had, you know, people's husbands um, make me feel a bit uncomfortable before in a good way, or about oh in a way that they, like, definitely want to yeah like they would cheat. I know like they, I, they would?
Speaker 1:they totally would.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's like it's an uncomfortable position to be in, but it's like you see it all the time as a woman, as just a woman and even you probably see that oh yeah, like I mean I feel bad for like this couple.
Speaker 1:They've been together forever and like you could tell that they just with the children, they're making it like work, they're doing the best thing for the kids. But you could tell they both like individually said to me, like having kids is tough. They were like I would love to like have a hall pass, I would love to like go on a trip and like just get my rocks off if your relationship is struggling like don't, don't have.
Speaker 2:Don't add kids to the mix.
Speaker 1:It makes it so much harder. If there's already cracks, don't add kids, but sometimes the kids add the. They work it out.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it depends on the people, but anyways, I'm starting to get confused because, well, first of all, you haven't been as accessible, because you're always with somebody.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I thought, oh, like I was trying to give you your privacy, but like I'm hearing too many different names now, and what is going on with your dating life?
Speaker 1:I just think it's never been like more fun, and I think a lot to do with like sobriety and knowing like 34.
Speaker 2:And give the background how you had planned to be single for. For two years, and I definitely am it's been a year and two months and you are definitely dating now.
Speaker 1:I mean, dating is a loose term and I think it's always good to interview before you date. Yes, I think there's an interview process.
Speaker 2:If you're not official Even me, I'm fucking crazy you can. There's an interview process. If you're not, even me, I'm fucking crazy. So like 10 people at once if you're not official with somebody.
Speaker 1:That's fine, it's totally fine okay, non-official, yes, allows for people. I mean, this is a thing. Do you tell the others that?
Speaker 2:like no, hey, yeah, no, because well, here's the thing you don't just you don't just say like go on one date and say, oh my gosh, we're official now and we're like boyfriend and girlfriend. It takes a while. You have to get to know somebody before you decide to be boyfriend and girlfriend, and I think people forget that.
Speaker 1:Or boyfriend and boyfriend, or girlfriend and girlfriend. Yes, stupid me. Oh, my God, you're so hetero. I'm speaking from personal experience. Okay, okay, yeah, experience.
Speaker 2:Yes, thank you for calling me out, though. So how's the dating going then? I mean, it is so much fun. It's giddy for like a couple of different reasons. I see that you've been giddy, I've been giddy as fuck.
Speaker 1:But see the thing, I wanted to focus on work and I wanted to like stay like on the grind, but then it's just like I guess I kind of forgot how good it feels to have the butterfly effect. And I said this last time on Valentine's Day. I didn't even have a Valentine, which is totally fine, because I think I didn't want to put all my like, I didn't want to put the pressure on anyone or myself, because then you have to really like Valentine's Day can be a little bit like solid, like it can solidify it, I know.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, it can so like if you're dating a couple people.
Speaker 2:So did that person ever come visit you for Valentine's Day? No, okay.
Speaker 1:No, and then get this fast forward. I'm like just always having somebody that I connected with a year ago and been back and forth, back and forth, but nothing, like you know, I think I might've talked to you about this person and then just like all of a sudden like 180, like just woo, like what the fuck Like? But see, I'm wondering, is this a thing where I'm in the driver's seat and I'm ready to take the next step with whoever it may be, if it's one or the other, I think you're firing up your engines. I'm firing up, I'm getting my mojo back.
Speaker 2:I don't think you're ready as your friend.
Speaker 1:I don't think you're ready. No, no, no, no, but it is exciting.
Speaker 2:I think you just had a really good month with as a real estate agent.
Speaker 1:Yes, Getting a little cocky. It starts off slow, as you said.
Speaker 2:Well, it starts off slow, and now things are happening for you, and not only that. You've been getting a lot of deals with like commercials and the modeling agency and I'm so proud of you. Congrats.
Speaker 1:Thank you. And everything's taken off for you right now. Well, I think I'm just like I'm not saying no to anything. I'm saying yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2:And I'm also able to commit.
Speaker 1:Well, I think it's because that you think about it Like. I don't have children, I'm not in a serious relationship.
Speaker 2:I know, I know.
Speaker 1:But I think you you can kind of understand this too. Yeah, your time. You would have like triple the amount of time if you didn't have a husband and didn't have children. If you didn't have a husband and didn't have children, yes, you would have so much free time. So whenever it's like busy, busy people get things done like people get more done, that's the. That's what I was trying. The busier you are, the more you'll get done.
Speaker 2:The busier you are, the more you get done so much easier to keep it rolling when you're already really busy yeah, uh, if you're just sitting at home. You just want to stay sitting at home, like a body in motion stays in motion yes, right, yeah, it all comes down to physics and I do remember that, like I have to think back to like I've been married for 11 and a half years now, but before then, like, and even before the kids, like me and my husband, we're always doing something I know and like I miss.
Speaker 2:I miss like being that busy, but like I couldn't do it right now well, I think you are busy in another way yes, I'm like strapped down to take care. I'm mommy now.
Speaker 1:You're mommy times two, mama mama times three because your hubby says mommy no, he doesn't guys, but that's uh, that's funny these are getting old.
Speaker 2:These jokes are getting I love the jokes um comment below if you like his jokes or if you think they are creepy or immature, yeah, or inappropriate.
Speaker 1:You know, I've been known to do that, but I think, in some ways, like I don't think I cannot be appropriate, I think it's just in my dna and that's the thing I think.
Speaker 2:When we started the podcast, we're like how much of ourselves should we be? And we kind of went crazy in the beginning. We were totally ourselves kind of. And then we kind of pulled back because we were getting feedback like people will say mean things and like oh yeah gossip and drama and it was hateful.
Speaker 1:It was kind of hateful things, yeah, or it was just like we were like slap, getting slapped on the wrist right, and now I think we've come full circle and we're like we don't care anymore like we're just going to be ourselves. So if you don't, like us, don't watch us like please unsubscribe if you do not like I, I mean, I really hate to like be that guy, but I just don't give a fuck because this is like you know something we're passionate.
Speaker 1:We're having fun, we're being vulnerable. I think in some ways, like I know, and you know that like we were met meant we were meant to spread the mission of Mocktails or Messy.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, we are totally here for sobriety, sober, curious and moderation.
Speaker 1:And even the Messy Boozehounds as friends. Definitely I love a Messy Boozehound as long as you don't drive.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And as long as you don't create drama.
Speaker 2:And please wait until at least like four or five o'clock to like have your cocktail. I know Please don't start in the morning drama and please wait until at least like four or five o'clock to like have your cocktail, I know please don't start. I mean what?
Speaker 1:about boozy brunch, though on a weekend, fine.
Speaker 2:Every now and then every once in a while, that's totally fine. I have yet to do that in a while, but somebody asked me.
Speaker 1:they were like what's the hardest thing about being sober? And I'm like the hardest thing about being sober is going back to new york and going out and walking the streets and being like, oh my God, I used to go to boozy brunch there. I used to do boozy brunch there and it was just like that was my highlight. But that's kind of a sad highlight, because then you're like that was just like your whole day was drunk.
Speaker 2:You know what Things are different now for everybody, like I'm never going to be who I was, you know, five years ago and it doesn't matter, Like you know five years ago, and it doesn't matter, like it just doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:It doesn't. And just like evolving, being better, being better versions of ourselves. Yay, 30s, mid thirties. Well, thank you guys for listening to mocktails or messy.
Speaker 2:This is Ryan Frankovsky and Kelly, ms Gorski, and we're signing out. Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1:Appreciate it. Our first live Congratulations to anybody who is celebrating sobriety or if anybody's practicing mindful moderation drinking. We want to be there for you. Please comment below. If you are on a mission, like us, we greatly appreciate it.
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