Mocktails Or Messy
Mocktails Or Messy
#26: Neurosurgery Student to Hair Wizardry
Ever wondered what it feels like to transition from the high-stakes world of neurosurgery to the creative arena of hairstyling? Join us as we chat with Dawson, whose journey from neurosurgery student to an expert hairstylist during the pandemic is both captivating and inspiring. Discover how Dawson, driven by a passion for helping others, first aimed to open a pro bono neurosurgery clinic and now finds joy in transforming clients' appearances, turning Kelly into her alter ego "Brittany" with his magical touch. Plus, laugh with us as we bond over a shared love for Moscow Mules, mixed to perfection by our talented guest.
Shift gears with us as we delve into the contrasting experiences Dawson faced, from the pressures of the medical field to the fulfilling and positive environment of beauty services. This episode is a deep dive into personal growth, financial struggles, and the importance of human connections—both in the hair salon and in life. We also share some heartfelt and humorous stories about dating, relationships, and overcoming toxic connections, spotlighting the journey towards a more content and active lifestyle.
We wrap up with a candid discussion on mental health, exploring our personal experiences with medications like Zoloft and Prozac, and the often challenging journey of finding the right treatment. Dawson, along with the hosts, opens up about the emotional rollercoasters, the difficulties of dealing with doctors, and the necessity of understanding and respecting individual needs. Plus, enjoy a fun and engaging conversation about hairstyling preferences, music, and the delightful messiness of life. Celebrate with us as we embrace vulnerability and genuine connection, finding strength and beauty in life's imperfections.
Mocktails Or Messy podcast
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Do we want to talk about dates or hookups?
Speaker 2:Oh gosh, I can't even speak. I'm like caught off guard. This bitch is coming out of nowhere.
Speaker 3:But I'm sitting there like oh, this is exhausting.
Speaker 1:And I'm just like sweating.
Speaker 2:It's expensive and boring to be high maintenance.
Speaker 3:Hi, this is Kelly Mazgorski.
Speaker 2:And Ryan Frankofsky.
Speaker 3:And you're listening to.
Speaker 2:Mocktails are Messy and today we have Dawson, the magician hairstylist, in the house. This is Kelly's go-to. She's kind of like created this new alter ego, dawson. Can you tell me a little bit about what you've completed with this magic?
Speaker 1:So the first time I did Kelly's hair.
Speaker 2:Sorry, you're going to be excited. No, you're good. So the first time I did.
Speaker 1:Kelly's hair. So are you going to be excited? No, you're good. So the first time we did Kelly's hair, it was the first time postpartum that we were doing your hair, yes, and we just big blonde transformation. She's on my Instagram page if you'd like to check it out. Then, a little bit later, I was running a special on extensions and we decided to go with some 18 inch extensions, and now we don't have Kelly any longer, we have Brittany.
Speaker 3:It's Brittany bitch.
Speaker 2:Well, we love it. We want to know a little bit about who is Dawson. Where does he come from? Can you give us the rundown? Oh goodness, how much time do we have? We have an hour, okay, okay, I'll make it quick then.
Speaker 1:So I was born up in Clarion, pennsylvania, pennsylvania, born and raised and then, whenever I was a in-between freshman and sophomore year of high school, I got moved down to North Huntington which is where I live now, graduated from Norwin and then I started going to college for medicine and I was majoring in biology. I got accepted into a medical school early acceptance thing. My senior year of high school.
Speaker 2:Where'd you?
Speaker 1:go what what med school lecom?
Speaker 2:yeah, lake erie college of osteopathic medicine.
Speaker 1:I got accepted into their early acceptance program and then I went to Gannon and then the pandemic hit my spring of my freshman year, I think and moved home. Policies and stuff just didn't make for a great like back in person and I just transferred down to Pitt. I gave up my seat at LECOM and went to Pitt and I was like we're just going to take our chances. I was majoring in biology with a double minor in chemistry and neuroscience and, oh shit, so you're pretty smart, I like to think I am. Yeah, definitely understand the sciences at least. And I was rolling with a 4.0 up until like my last semester and I got an A minus knocked down.
Speaker 2:If only we could have chained those.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we are like C's get degree students. That applies to anything but medicine.
Speaker 1:Because you have to have for LECOM I had to maintain I think it was 3.75 or above, so can't get C's.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had a friend that went to pharmacy school there and he said that he barely got through it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it is tough, it's intense.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And eventually I just got burnt out from the pandemic and needed to take a break. And because I was taking winter classes and summer classes in addition to fall and spring.
Speaker 4:Isn't that?
Speaker 1:crazy.
Speaker 2:I did not take a break from 2020 to summer of of 2021 that'll burn you out just straight through and it
Speaker 1:was like full time for each three of the summer sessions. It was wild. And then I had signed a lease on an apartment, so I had to get a big boy job I started working for a pittsburgh based salon and uh-huh fell in love with the industry and how much it can help people. Whenever I was studying to be a doctor, all I wanted to do was help people. I wanted to be—my goal was neurosurgery.
Speaker 4:Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:I wanted to eventually open up a pro bono clinic for neurosurgery, so people who can't afford to get brain surgery.
Speaker 2:And then it could be government funded. Exactly, is there a?
Speaker 3:reason you were passionate about neurosurgery.
Speaker 1:Just because it's a more. It's one of the newer branches of medicine Um and there's also a lot to be discovered about the brain.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Also my grandmother has Alzheimer's. And so I wanted to eventually research like do some research with. Alzheimer's but didn't work out. But now I get to help people in a different way, still working on the head, absolutely.
Speaker 2:That's so funny. It goes full circle. My brother had an accident years ago so we were very familiar with like dealing with the neurosurgeon and like just we were so blessed with Pittsburgh hospitals and being able to like have some of the best physicians and surgeons in the United States, so I do really commend you for picking such an intense type of study. It was wild.
Speaker 1:And then also doing the research in addition to schoolwork was just. It got to be a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Now I do hair.
Speaker 2:And now you're having so much more fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that too, I actually have a life now.
Speaker 3:Yes, well, we brought your favorite drink. Thank you, moscow Mule. Or we brought your favorite drink.
Speaker 4:Thank you, moscow Mule, or one of your favorites, I assume.
Speaker 1:I'm not too picky, but Moscow Mules are definitely good. You already mixed it up for us.
Speaker 2:Yes, I do have to give you a little bit of ginger beer. I mixed it up, the vodka and the lime juice. Now with the Moscow Mule. How do you like to have it? The traditional one?
Speaker 1:You said that you don't mind a little flavoring included. I don't mind if you mix it up a little bit With the potato vodka.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you dig it so refreshing. I'm definitely going to pour you some, so keep it going guys. So he was a bartender back in the day For many years so he knows what he's doing, so this better be the best.
Speaker 3:Moscow Mule you ever had. It better be, I love you.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of pressure here, it's time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, don't kill his ego if it's not.
Speaker 2:You're such a nice guy, I want you to really lay it on hard.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he likes being abused.
Speaker 2:You like it hard. I just, like you know, I want to see, like the little, like you know, feisty, sassy side of Dawson, because I heard that that exists. Oh yeah, it does exist.
Speaker 1:You've only ever seen me at work or like work functions.
Speaker 2:Yes, and you've always been very professional. Like every time that we come into your studio. It's just like little day club it really is. Or night club into your studio. It's just like little day club, it really is. Or night club. Kelly's looking at me like can you pour my fucking drink already.
Speaker 3:Did you take a sip yet? Not yet. I was waiting for you to Okay cheers.
Speaker 2:Now I have the ritual mocktail equivalent. I'm doing the mocktails, you're doing the cocktails, so let's. Cheers to. Mocktails are messy Cheers. You guys gonna get messy Always, so what's?
Speaker 1:your type of girl.
Speaker 2:You're like 90, 10, right, it's more like 99 one, okay, and the one only comes out whenever there's a perfect mix of like atmosphere and types of alcohol, like if you had to pick like your perfect celebrity girlfriend from the 99 gay one percent straight I don't know honestly mine's blake lively, okay, okay I'm just figuring like.
Speaker 3:I don't know if you have I don't know why I could see you with like sabrina carpenter oh shit, yeah, I could too yeah like yeah, on the shorter side, because I'm 5'7", so you know.
Speaker 2:Tell me a little bit about like you're able to really operate on the head, but like in, like a creative sense, instead of like your life is on the line, like that could be stressful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's significantly less stressful than brain surgery. And I find it funny when my clients that don't know my background will say, like I'll be telling them about, like I get a question a lot like has anything ever gone wrong doing hair? And I'm like, yeah, in beauty school, like I screwed up all the time, um, and I'm like, and they'll be like, oh well, at least it's not brain surgery like this and that.
Speaker 1:and I find that comment funny because like once upon a time I was right studying to do that yeah but it's significantly less stressful and it's nice to be able to form a connection with a client, versus when you're a surgeon of any kind. You don't want your clients to come back you don't want your patients to come back. You want to interact with them and hopefully never see them again, because you're typically seeing them as a surgeon in the worst part of their life or one of the worst parts of their life, and I enjoy with this job the human connection and being able to hear someone's story and share my story and look forward to them coming back right and I think that is one of the key differences between the two very different industries that I've found comfort in if that makes sense.
Speaker 3:I like how you broke that down. It all makes total sense.
Speaker 1:It's something I've put a lot of thought into recently because I've had a lot of new clients and I've been telling the story a lot and I think it's just.
Speaker 3:I don't think I would have been as fulfilled as I am now right, because we were talking about you and your, um, your glow up in the past, like, oh my goodness, yeah, like what's going on bro yeah
Speaker 1:so when I started at Studio Raw, I think I was 195 or like 200 pounds, you didn't look like that, though it was on my, I carried it very well. Okay, and I also hit it very well as well.
Speaker 3:You were probably stressed out at school.
Speaker 1:Yes, I was stressed out, I wasn't making any money. There was a period of time before I started at Studio Raw that I would have to go like four days every two weeks without eating. Oh my God, Because I did not have a dollar to my name. Oh my gosh. And navigating. That was definitely stressful and I know that my parents were always there to like help me if I needed it, but I didn't like asking for help.
Speaker 1:No, I'm a middle child, so I'm uh, I like to go solo, Um, so I made it work, but I was definitely in a very stressful part of my life and I think that just kept the weight on. Yeah, and then I started at studio raw and I got out of a very toxic relationship and I just.
Speaker 1:I walked in that next week and Dan looked at me and said you have a glow about you Like, was it the relationship that you got rid of? It was the relationship that I got rid of. It was the money you were making. Fact that I could eat again. Okay, I could eat healthy. I wasn't relying on the dollar menu at well dollar 50, $3 menu at McDonald's and Taco Bell anymore, and I was also just like, I was just happy you felt fulfilled. I'm more active at work.
Speaker 1:Not like sitting and snacking all day at work and Dan's support I felt seen for the first time in probably my whole life and everything just came together and that's where I'm at now still still single out of toxic relationships still glowing, I'm going to the gym again. I'm biking. I'm, you know, having fun with friends. I'm prioritizing, you know, my, and I'm finally in a place where I can do that. Very excited.
Speaker 2:Well, congratulations, Thank you. I think that's a really big, important thing is like when you're in those toxic relationships you don't really know it until you leave that. My God, it's a huge weight off of me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it was one of those situations where, like I had kind of gotten over it before I left so to this day, I still, like I've just felt very confident in the decision, since, like I never wavered to be like, did I make that decision in haste?
Speaker 2:or like no, well, you two certainly have that in common yeah, I feel like whenever you go through something hard like that, you kind of realize like life is way too short to just stick it out, or it really is, and being single is so much More rewarding because you really get to do whatever you want.
Speaker 1:Yeah, whatever I want. Yeah like I don't know. It's just I'm in a very free point in my life which I think that early twenties should be that free time of your life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't you feel bad when you see people that have gone like 10 years in a relationship, all of their twenties, maybe like some of your thirties, and then they're getting out of it and like thank God, like you're still young, at like 35, say, but you're like to lose all those 20s not hoeing around in these streets. That's the best part, man. That's the best part. I know this poor thing. She got married so young, but she's lucky. She got a good one. Oh my gosh, poor me. She got a good one.
Speaker 1:Lucky you on the good one.
Speaker 3:But yeah, I'm lucky for early, but it's not all rainbows and sunshine you have had some disaster dates right oh my god, yeah, I've had one of the worst, like maybe the worst one do we want to talk about dates or hookups? Oh, gosh, I don't know what you think.
Speaker 2:I kind of want to go in with the hookup first, of course you do.
Speaker 3:Okay, let's do that.
Speaker 2:Okay, of course I do. She knows I'm all about the fucking hook up, it's how all my clients are too. So I mean, I blame it on being a Scorpio. I don't know if your thoughts are on that I don't understand any of that.
Speaker 3:I know that.
Speaker 1:I'm a Sagittarius and that's that.
Speaker 2:The best, the best you know about Sagittarius. I know my brother, my dad and my aunts are, but they have nothing in common, all three of them. What have you been told about Sag that we're?
Speaker 1:very fiery and independent. I can see that.
Speaker 2:Independent yes, which applies.
Speaker 3:Okay, now we're getting off track again.
Speaker 1:Typical. So I'll give you two hookup stories. Oh, one is going to be much deeper and a little darker, but I'll start with the funny one. Deeper and darker you want to start.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I just like the way you described it. Sorry, let's start with funny. Yeah yeah, yeah, sorry I just like the way you described it okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, Okay. So I met a guy at a bar like just to like meet him in public first. Uh yes, I met him there and we ended up going back to my apartment at the time and we were just like hanging out, continuing to have a couple of drinks, and then we, you know, started making out and like things were getting hot and heavy and everything that sounds hot and he just kind of like grunted and just like froze oh my god, did he come and I was just like you, okay, and he was just like I need a second.
Speaker 1:And I was like what, what? What do you mean? Like did I do something? Like I started feeling like I had, you know, triggered him or something, and I triggered something he came.
Speaker 4:Oh my gosh you called it.
Speaker 3:I thought that only happened in movies no, that was an experience.
Speaker 1:I was letting it hang out. I tried to make it as not awkward as possible. I just kind of like sat back and I was like hey, it's all good, do you want another? Drink, like the movie that we were watching ended like pick a movie I'll go make another round of drinks, like we're all good. Do you want me to like throw pizza in the oven and something like that? Like I was just trying to like?
Speaker 2:make them feel comfortable. Awkward. Yeah, oh, you're the best and then you're
Speaker 4:a sweetheart yeah I probably would have been pissed.
Speaker 2:Okay, oh, and it was good, but yeah, it was, but oh yeah I was just like trying to make more what was his reaction when you like kind of were being so like nonchalant, was he like?
Speaker 1:he was. I was fighting an uphill battle on trying to not make it awkward.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 4:You know we all Human body's a wild thing right.
Speaker 2:It is hey. Take it as a compliment.
Speaker 1:That's what I did.
Speaker 2:I was just like, hey, it's all good, yeah, and then you got some satisfaction later, yeah.
Speaker 1:Just had to let him, you know.
Speaker 3:Wow, you're that guy Relax for a little bit.
Speaker 2:You did that, I think, the one time I was really embarrassed whenever I couldn't get hard.
Speaker 3:And that was always embarrassing.
Speaker 2:And I wasn't even drunk and it was this girl that I told you about and she was really hot and we had some great sex. And then I was like, why am I so embarrassed? And I think I'll never forget that moment where I'm like she didn't even care like you. She was like I mean, maybe she did and you did, but she's just like, hey, let's go, let's get another drink or let's like, you know, like it's all good, you can't get hard. Sometimes that shit happens.
Speaker 1:I mean, I feel like in those situations or any situation, it's only awkward if you make it awkward right so much like it's only awkward if you make it awkward, so just don't let it be awkward I know, and then it's hard but I mean you get through it, or in your case it's not but I know right, I mean when you're like in that state, like that's usually the case, I was just sober, so I was like, fuck, this is really embarrassing.
Speaker 2:She's gonna think that I not into her. Oh yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:But anyways, as I digress, we had another hookup story that you were gonna tell us yes, this one is quite dark, but I mean it kind of opens up for a deeper conversation, if you will of you know self-discovery and recovery and stuff like that, oh nice.
Speaker 1:So there was this guy who I was leaving beauty school and I was like leaving for the day and going to a party, because the salon I was at had just one best of the Berg. I left beauty school in a mesh tank top and same one from the pride parade Very similar.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 1:It was an old one that fit my body at that time.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 1:So I left in that and I put like something like this over top of it, cause I knew I had to stop at get go and like buy some stuff before I went down and I'm standing in line at getco, a gas station for anybody who's not from the burg. Oh is getco pittsburgh, it's only pittsburgh oh my gosh yeah it is oops, my bad, that's okay.
Speaker 4:I just want to clarify, good call yeah yeah we have like one city outside of pittsburgh.
Speaker 2:That's a high listener count and it's New York for some reason.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, alrighty.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, this guy is standing behind me and I can hear him like whispering something and I just like kept my sunglasses on going in because I was just picking up something and leaving real quick. And I could hear him behind me saying something and I couldn't hear what it was. I checked out, I got in the car and I'm sitting at the red light leaving the parking lot and this truck pulls up beside me and it's this guy like honking and beeping and he's like telling me to roll down my window. I pulled out my window and he's just like, hey, can I get your number? This and that, and I was just like fuck it, why not?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, Was he cute Okay because I was like you can't be giving your number to someone, yeah he was cute, driving a nice truck. I was like all right why not Turned on by the truck?
Speaker 1:And also he was very forward.
Speaker 2:So I was just like all right, the confidence that's a turn on. I'm digging it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I gave him my number and he's like blowing up my phone for like the next week. So that night I call him over and we're, you know, doing things. What are you doing? Please elaborate? We're making out feeling each other up, like you know all the foreplay stuff. Yeah, it goes into a hookup and he was getting really aggressive. Oh, like, and I don't mind rougher sex, if you know what I mean. However, it was just a little too far Like, and I don't mind rougher sex, if you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:However, it was just a little too far. Like choking, that wouldn't be too far, but Okay, we know what you like? Like what he was saying.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I hate that.
Speaker 1:Dropping some really weird verbs in there and I was just like like called me a bitch at one point and I was like I've hooked up with people that enjoy being called that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but typically that's something like you say you kind of address yeah, or you talk about.
Speaker 1:And I did not, and so eventually I was like let's just stop. Did you have a beard?
Speaker 2:at the time, no that is not relevant? No, it can be, because so that could be identified as like oh, he's like you know, he's a pretty boy, he likes to be that.
Speaker 1:Now, I wouldn't assume that, but if you were, like you know, like younger skinny twinkish I wasn't as skinny, yes, so I would have said I was at, like I think I was at 210 at that point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So I would not have been like hey bitch yeah, like whatever.
Speaker 1:I was just like, hey, let's pause, like let's take a break. He stopped for about 10 seconds and then started up again and I was just like I, I was just like, all right, just get out of your head, you'll be fine. And then we're, like you know, ramping back up and then it happens again and I'm just like, all right, I don't want to do this anymore. Good for you, um, and he didn't stop and just kept going until he was done.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, you essentially got raped.
Speaker 3:I did get raped. It's very dark.
Speaker 1:Deep and dark.
Speaker 2:You probably felt like you were endangered, so get him out of here. Let him do his thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it definitely hits a point, point where you just like kind of out of body. Yes, like you, just detach so much that you're just like you don't feel anything in the moment, Like you're just kind of off somewhere else right, I'm so sorry that you went through that. Hey, we got through it.
Speaker 2:But thank you for being vulnerable and explaining because I know a lot of people have dealt with that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, and it's unfortunately very common in with straight individuals.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Male and female. Female more predominantly.
Speaker 4:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And also in the LGBT community. It's very common and it's sad I got through it. I went to therapy. I was working through like triggers and stuff. And it wasn't the first time I had been raped or sexually assaulted, and so I kind of had like a little bit of a foundational knowledge on how to work through that and I'm you still working through it. It's a continuous thing. I find new triggers every now and then I'm just like, ooh, that's new, that's spicy, all right, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, the important part is getting therapy. Yeah getting help so you can cope and I feel like everybody if they have the option. And especially, you know something that you've gone through, such as that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's very traumatic and I had people. Thank God I had my older sister. She came over that night she called me and started like screaming on the phone so that he could hear it like to like, say like there was something wrong with the dog and I needed to come over and this, that and the third and he ended up leaving. Um, and then she came over and like helped me. And then one of my friends from beauty school came and picked me up.
Speaker 2:I spent the night at her house and I had a Would you have wanted to press charges, or is that not something you were comfortable?
Speaker 1:I thought about it a lot Mm-hmm, and I just first off didn't know his full name.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And also, unfortunately, the system works in a way that you know. Yeah, I invited him over. If you look through the messages, like we were talking about it.
Speaker 4:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:And you know I can change my mind at any time and withdraw consent. However, looking at the stuff on paper, I wasn't 100 sure if it would go in my favor and I just didn't want to relive it.
Speaker 3:No, so I was like all right, you don't want to relive it yeah gosh, thank you for sharing that story, because I think it could help others yeah absolutely, and I'm very open with this story and also my mental health struggle that.
Speaker 1:I've been going through since pretty much my whole life.
Speaker 2:Do you think a lot to do with being part of the LGBTQ plus community? I know for myself I struggle with that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I definitely think that at one point in time I did not accept myself I knew something was different about myself and eventually I just said to jump in and see what it was, and that was probably the best thing I could have done for myself was make sure that's who I am and, like you know, work through accepting myself. And the journey of self-discovery has been wild, lots of ups and downs.
Speaker 1:It is a rollercoaster ride, but I finally am at a place where I do love myself and I take care of myself and I you know, I'm not a hundred% in love with every aspect of myself, but I know that that's the way it is and I can gradually work to something better and I'm continuing to improve myself every day, and all of the different chapters in my book and all of the different scenes in my movie have led to where I'm at now 23, with, as some of my clients say, an old soul.
Speaker 3:Yes, oh my gosh, you have an old soul, thank you, yes, like I, mean we're 10 years older than you. And I feel like you're older than us. That's what a lot of my clients say. It's totally weird.
Speaker 2:I mean, you do look very young, but everybody loves you. You're so inspiring and you sharing that a little bit more about like, not only the tough times, about like, just like you kind of coming to terms with yourself, like makes you just not only like handsome physically. You have such a beautiful spirit about you internally and I didn't know that about you.
Speaker 3:You would have hated us when we were your age. We were so annoying, we were so fucking immature.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you were like these down.
Speaker 1:I would have hated you. You would have just fit into a specific part of my life. Yes, we would have been your party exactly, yeah, I have my party.
Speaker 2:We wouldn't have been your like. Let's have a deep conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, now maybe different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, and that's I think that's why I get along with a lot of my clients, and I've had a couple clients recently tell me about their children that are going through a bit more of a struggle, and I've always been very open about the fact that I have hospitalized myself to get help.
Speaker 4:I was on medication.
Speaker 1:I've since gotten off the medication. I was in and out of therapy. Do you feel comfortable sharing what medication? Yeah, I was on Z.
Speaker 2:I've since gotten off the medication I was in and out of therapy. Do you feel comfortable sharing what medication?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was on Zoloft.
Speaker 2:Okay, I think it's Zoloft.
Speaker 1:It's Sertraline is the chemical name. Okay, and that's for depression. Yes, it's an SSRI and it I was on a very high dosage so that might've probably led to my feelings on it, but it took away all of my emotion.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, like it hit a point that, like so, what it does is pretty much just like so, you have your peaks and your valleys, your highs and your lows, and it just brings them a little closer together. Like you, still experience like happiness and sadness, but it's less extreme, and I didn't like the fact that everything pretty much just came to a flat line.
Speaker 2:I was just numb all the time did anybody tell you, did anyone share with you how they felt you were acting differently, like your sister or your friends that know you will?
Speaker 1:once I got off, my family told me that um that it seemed like I was back okay like some of my friends also said, like you were kind of zombie, like sometimes like if I were tired or in like a sad part of it, like I, I was off, I was floating through life, I was not living life, life was living me absolutely about the zoloft.
Speaker 3:I have recently been diagnosed with pmdd it's like a extreme pms. So they gave me prozac and I took it and I felt the same way that you described just no emotion at all. And my husband was like um, I'd rather you get be like, have the rage and the depression than act like this weird, like blank slate yeah yeah, definitely like a zombie zombie vibe, so I did stop like taking it. I'm gonna see if there's other options for me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, this is all like new within the past month and it's just sorry comforting to hear that you kind of had the same experience with the medication yeah, it's, and it's designed to do that.
Speaker 1:Maybe try a lower dose.
Speaker 4:I'm not a doctor.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can't. I can't make medical recommendations.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but.
Speaker 3:I hear you Maybe ideas.
Speaker 1:I mean, I think that if I were on a lower dosage Just to take the edge away, mm-hmm, I would have been okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I, yeah and I. Then my doctor ghosted me, so, oh my god, I had to wean myself off of a very high dose of an ssri and thankfully I had one refill left and I knew how to do it safely without destroying my brain so damn now we got through it.
Speaker 3:Doctors are ghosting people.
Speaker 1:What the hell I don't think it's legal, but I really haven't looked into it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was just like whatever I mean not to throw any under the bus, but, like she remembers, whenever I was at Penn State and I was studying engineering, everybody was taking Adderall. So I, like reached out to the doctor that is not really my doctor, it was a doctor family friend and I was like, hey, can I get a script for Adderall? And he's like, yep, just sent it over electronically. Go pick it up 10 milligram, what the fuck.
Speaker 3:Damn.
Speaker 2:Okay, he's no longer practicing.
Speaker 1:Does he still have a license?
Speaker 2:I don't think so Okay.
Speaker 1:I was going to say I feel like he shouldn't.
Speaker 2:I mean how fucking crazy. But then I think at the time, like I was reluctant, because I've always kind of been and I and I hate saying this now because I'm learning so much through you and through, like other new family members, about needing these type of prescriptions just in daily life I was always kind of against them because I've never experienced those kind of feelings and I feel kind of guilty being, you know, so one narrow minded way. So thank you for you know bringing this up again. I'm sure that I'm going to get shit on by some of the people that I've always kind of been against, but I think I've only been exposed to people that have kind of been teetering on like more recreational use rather than medicinal they were taking they were taking them a little bit too much like, and it was like affecting them and instead of like taking the dosage that was prescribed.
Speaker 2:And you know it can be addictive it can yeah.
Speaker 1:You know whether it's actual addiction like Adderall can? Yeah, you know Whether it's actual addiction like Adderall can be addictive Right. Or if you're just like you have a physical reliance on it, like an SSRI.
Speaker 2:Yes An.
Speaker 1:SSRI isn't necessarily at least Zoloft wasn't addictive.
Speaker 2:What is SSRI?
Speaker 1:Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor Wow.
Speaker 2:You really did go to med school. You really did study some shit I did.
Speaker 3:Do I need to cool you down?
Speaker 2:It's a turn on.
Speaker 1:I've always struggled with mental health. I've always, you know, had depression. I believe that mine is more of like a genetic thing, just my brain does not produce enough serotonin. Yeah, and I'm just, you know, work through it, you got to find the sources of serotonin. Yeah, um, and I'm just you know, work through it, you got to find the sources of serotonin right.
Speaker 2:Do you feel like exercise or like cardio?
Speaker 1:um both, yeah, yeah exercise in pretty much any capacity. I think it just like opens my brain a little more and then also figuring out what my triggers were and like what things made it worse.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And I feel like if I drink more than three days in a row, I go through a really bad patch, right after that. Like as my brain's kind of like coming back to normal, like that depressant Right.
Speaker 2:Like maybe one day or two.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I can absolutely go get blackout drunk and be fine for the rest, minus the hangover for the rest of the week.
Speaker 2:Right One night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but if it's just mindlessly drinking every night, yeah, it just. It's, oh yeah, terrible.
Speaker 2:No, I know that's kind of what we were trying to bring on the podcast Mocktails or Messy. We have a lot of messy times and as we get older you know, we're much older than you 10 years and we find ourselves so much happier with, like, implementing Mocktails or you know, she's being more mindful as a mother, it's like. You know. I think that people don't talk enough about how alcohol is a depressant.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's not like the other things that people do recreationally. That can maybe be more of an upper. I mean, I don't condone anything right now, but like I know myself, like living in LA, like people really switched over to Cali sober because they were like, oh my God, like alcohol was making me angry or alcohol was making me sad, but like the weed for them, I think you know it can be excessive if you're doing it every day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I feel like every person has where it becomes a problem. But it's also a medicine, yeah, and I understand. With my background, I know how to read like the articles and stuff, like the medical journals. I think that people can use it medicinally. Medical marijuana yeah, there's definitely something to that, but I don't. I'm not a person that could get through every day constantly high.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:I definitely think that every now and then it could help me Right.
Speaker 2:Like with my anxiety portion Right.
Speaker 1:I definitely think that like a little, like one little hit could definitely help me, but I don't. I feel like I just Zen out a little too much.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And getting through my job.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I wouldn't fit the salon vibe.
Speaker 1:Oh no, and and like, even, just like zenning out too much when you're like taking care of somebody's hair yeah like I could be bad, like you don't want to like using like a really sharp needle, like right up against the scalp oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, when he puts my extensions in, I'm like, oh my gosh, is that gonna go through my scalp like no, he's perfect I knew you were gonna do a good job, but I didn't know you were gonna like crush.
Speaker 2:I'm not just saying it, I'm like holy fuck. This is her not real hair, but it looks real well, it is real human hair. Oh, it is okay it's just, you did an amazing job and I think she's got like that kind of like hair that I have always liked her with long hair, but she did chop it because I guess you wanted to switch it up. I don't know, I was the one that did the chop.
Speaker 1:Okay yeah, per Dan's request yeah.
Speaker 3:We were like totally hesitant. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:Was this like a marketing ploy?
Speaker 3:Oh, they cut it off so they could sell to the extensions.
Speaker 1:Oh, I was so lost there for a second. I'm like marketing, why, for what, maybe?
Speaker 3:that's not the way that I know. They didn't do that Clearly not because I was like huh.
Speaker 2:That's not even the right terminology. Marketing point A setup, you know it sounds right to me, was that like a business setup? Was that a press, a publicity set? Maybe, who knows?
Speaker 1:No, it was not. But yeah, my I'm very open about my mental health journey and stuff and you know, getting through all of that it's it was a huge part of my life and it's definitely something I like to put a lot of time and energy into. I definitely like want to do some reels on instagram and stuff, just you know, like, like. I think that june is mental, or men's mental, health month or something like that talking about male depression yeah, um, that was june june yes, yes and
Speaker 1:I thought it was august, but it is june, so yes next year. Stay tuned for okay, good, but I am glad that it came up on here because I definitely like to you know, at least work it into conversations so that, like you know, spread awareness.
Speaker 3:You are a singer. You and Dan are the singing hairdressers. You're naturally obviously like a good singer. How did you get into it?
Speaker 1:I've been singing since I was in kindergarten and it was a basketball like championship game. It was on my birthday. I've been singing since I was in kindergarten and it was a basketball championship game. It was on my birthday I think my fifth or sixth birthday and I went to the school that my mom worked at and that was the first time I sang the national anthem in public and I remember her holding her flip phone up in front of me with my dad on the line so that he could hear me singing and, like I, I just remember it being very like scary yeah like and also like the, the sound singing through a microphone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, live. Never done that before hearing your voice come back at you is wild yeah, is that why they were the earplugs.
Speaker 3:No, that's for a different thing I was not wearing the earplugs and I never have worn the in-ears, but it's just playing a track back at you.
Speaker 1:If it's too loud of music and their speaker's too far away from you. You're off of the music and stuff Got it. It's just, I don't know, it's been fun kind of getting back into music, but I've been singing since as long as I can remember.
Speaker 3:I'm glad you're doing it now. I also play instruments and play piano.
Speaker 4:Can you sing us a little tune?
Speaker 2:Like I just want to hear you belt it out. I want to hear the Dawson belt. No wait, it's not Dawson, dawson, no wait it's not Dawson, dawson, dawson.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, I thought you just had a weird accent on it.
Speaker 2:I thought you had a speech impediment. I have a speech impediment. A speech impediment Doll. You're such a doll. That's what it is.
Speaker 3:You're just a little doll.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 1:Thank you, thank you, you're such a cute little doll. What can I say? I'm adorable, thank you, yeah, yeah, yeah, there's only one song, really coming to mind.
Speaker 4:Have you ever felt like nobody was there? Have you ever felt forgotten, in the middle of nowhere? Have you ever felt like you could disappear, like you could fall and no one would hear?
Speaker 3:oh, you're getting better and better thank you, that was kind of sexy opening.
Speaker 1:You will be found. You will be found yes, that was a beautiful film I saw it live when they came to the benedict last year and I was a wreck because that's the song that leads into, like the intermission yeah and then the lights came on and I was just like
Speaker 2:hide me, hide me, you're so cute it was.
Speaker 1:It's a very heavy show, but it's very.
Speaker 3:It's beautiful if you ever get the chance yeah, I mean I've only seen the film, but there's a show yeah, if you get to see it on broadway yeah an off-broadway production so I do have like a hairstylist this or that, and so yeah, so, I'll just say, like what it is, and you just tell me what you prefer Okay, okay, a balayage or a classic highlights? A balayage, oh, okay.
Speaker 2:That's so much better.
Speaker 3:Rainbow hair colors or natural colors, both Short hair or long hair, long hair I knew you would say that Curled or straight Curled Blondes or redheads, blondes all the way.
Speaker 1:Woo Leave-in conditioner or leave-in oil, depends on the hair, but I'm going to say leave-in conditioner.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oil sounds whack.
Speaker 2:Okay, last one up do or down down. Yes, okay, love it.
Speaker 3:That was fun, I know and then just one more funny story that I had to like oh yeah, I know you were saying he was like swiping on. What was it? Grinder and he saw you and he was like I did I saw dosson.
Speaker 2:I'm getting messy. I saw one grinder. Why didn't you message me? I messaged you. You blocked me you blocked him. I'm kidding I don't think I was like what the I don't know? Actually, I think you know what it is like. You know when you're like, delete the app and then you turn it back on and you delete and turn it on. Do you ever delete it? No, oh, you don't have a problem. No, ever since I'm a whore and I'm very comfortable with that okay, no, no, you know what the problem is with me?
Speaker 2:I'm like studying for like an exam and so what did you tell me?
Speaker 3:why didn't you swipe or whatever? Why didn't you?
Speaker 2:because I was afraid that you were gonna out me.
Speaker 3:You know, I'm very closeted he said he didn't want to sleep with another one of my hairstylists oh my god.
Speaker 2:No, that is not true. That is not true.
Speaker 1:I never said that another one the fact that it's another one I never said she's getting messy now Fuck.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, that is open to interpretation. I can't even speak. I'm like caught off guard. This bitch is coming out of nowhere. Okay, so now we want to get messy. What do you think the most annoying thing About Kelly in the chair being your client?
Speaker 3:And you have to be honest, don't fuck with me and come up with some nice shit. I'm going to keep coming back.
Speaker 2:I'll keep coming back, oh nice. Oh, my god, I'm scared. I mean, I guess you have to be honest.
Speaker 1:So it's not just Kelly, it's actually a lot of people.
Speaker 2:So he's prepositing it to soften the blow.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying that it is a very common issue with long appointments. So kelly's appointment is very long, yeah it's like what? Four hours yeah, and god forbid if she had a job right and like it happens and I'm guilty of it too but like the conversation stops and like it's hard to get it back to going, oh, I mean if I were sitting in the chair for four hours like standing behind the chair.
Speaker 1:I struggled to get it oh, my god like eventually, you just hit a point where you're just like all right, I'm done.
Speaker 3:Like yeah, I know, it's just like you're tired yeah it's like one of the most annoying things.
Speaker 2:Just as a hairstylist in general, you sometimes need to like I know for myself, like I've learned like you don't have to fill in every like box with with words, yeah, you don't have to fill every second of silence yes and it it really only with you.
Speaker 1:I feel like we talk a lot during like the application, and then the rinsing and toning and blow drying and cutting, whenever I do, the extensions out.
Speaker 4:Well, maybe you have your phone.
Speaker 1:I think you are too.
Speaker 3:She's not a big talker after an hour, listen, I'm not even doing all the work, but I'm sitting there like, oh, this is exhausting, right.
Speaker 2:She's like shit. It's expensive and boring to be high maintenance.
Speaker 3:I'm sitting in his chair and I'm just like this is such hard work, and he just rolls his eyes and I'm sitting in his chair and I'm just like this is such hard work and he just like and I'm just like sweating, yeah, disheveled Like, can I just?
Speaker 2:talk about how good that real was with you three. You, dan Dawson, oh my God, that was so much. That was hilarious. Who came up with the concept of having like a tag team, dan?
Speaker 1:Oh, that not whenever he was training me. Whenever he was training me, it was yeah like our go-to line like are you comfortable being tag-teamed by two men?
Speaker 2:the old ladies just ate it up so dawson, not to put you on the spot, since we've asked you a lot of intimate, messy questions. Yes, what questions do you have for us? And it can be messy, it can be insightful. We want to know what you are curious about, kelly and ryan you know I spend a lot of time with kelly. Oh, you can ask me, so like I'm in the hot seat give me the hot ones don't be like trying to be shy and be nice.
Speaker 1:You can ask me anything oh god, my head went straight for the gutter. What is the messiest hookup you've had in term or relationship you've had in terms of like involvement with other people, like I've hooked up with guys that have known other people that I've been with they're all aware of me.
Speaker 2:Wow, yeah, you know what Is that? A Pittsburgh small town thing.
Speaker 1:I don't know, or maybe I just have a taste type, if you will.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Oh my God, that is a great question. I honestly don't know. I think the messiest thing recently was this like straight couple and the guy was like, hey, like they're both really hot. And the guy was like hey, do you want to like spit roast, my wife? And then I was like, oh, nope, delete. Like spit roast, what Do you know?
Speaker 3:what that is. What's a spit roast? I don't know what that is.
Speaker 1:Like Eiffel Tower kind of thing.
Speaker 3:Yes, thank you, I tried to explain it.
Speaker 2:Do you?
Speaker 1:know what an Eiffel Tower is. I know what an Eiffel Tower is Okay it's pretty much that, except you don't meet hands. Oh my god Well.
Speaker 2:Dawson, thank you so much, doll You're such a doll. Dawson, thank you so much for coming on. Mocktails Are Messy. Absolutely it's great, and thank you for making this beauty even more beautiful with that hair.
Speaker 1:Oh, absolutely, we'll continue.
Speaker 3:I'm the luckiest.
Speaker 1:I just love you and I can't wait to come back again, and I love you too. We'll see you in a couple weeks, right?
Speaker 2:Yes, and thank being so vulnerable and sharing those stories.
Speaker 1:We really have to, like you know commend you on being so open and we appreciate it. Yeah, absolutely, I'm always very open about it, so you know let's get messy. Thank you for listening to. How are you, hi? Thank you, thank you.
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