Mocktails Or Messy
Mocktails Or Messy
#16: Dumpster Dives, Mocktail Vibes & Summer's Spooky Side
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Remember that time we got lost in a sea of tailgaters at a Penn State + Michigan football game, only to find ourselves behind a dumpster, law enforcement on our heels? Well, that laugh-worthy misadventure is just the tip of the iceberg as Kelly Mizgorski and Ryan Frankowski, bring you a conversation steeped in the highs and lows of adulting with a twist of summer fun. From the unexpected places our phones accompany us (yes, even to the bathroom) to the sobering reality of health alerts from previous partners, we're covering all the bases this episode.
Now, who doesn't love the thrill of Halloween in the heat of May? We're dishing on our costume dreams while embracing the concept of 'hot mom summer,' balancing the sizzle with the chill of personal responsibility. As parents, we've seen our college days of carefree drinking evolve into a mindful approach to alcohol—no easy feat amidst the pressures of social media and fitness obsessions. It's a raw look at the addictive behaviors that we all face and the boundaries we've learned to set for a semblance of sanity.
Navigating the social maze when booze is the star can be tricky. Yet, here we are, sharing our go-to strategies for mingling with a "mindful" muddle—think tasty mocktails and for the "normies"/drinkers pacing ourselves with non-alcoholic gems. We celebrate the solidarity of loved ones who choose sobriety and revel in the support that makes standing your ground a bit less daunting. It's a candid blend of stories, strategies, and sheer hilarity, served up to encourage you to join us on this messy journey called life. And hey, don't forget to hit subscribe to "Mocktails Or Messy" unless you want Chucky coming for you—and we're only half-joking!
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Alcohol, Summer, and Personalities
Speaker 1I don't think people realize actually like how intelligent you are because you really have like dumb blonde personality. Have you looked like Instagram and Facebook? It'll tell you how many hours you've been on. It's startling.
Speaker 2I have and I'm like scared to look at it now, when you're like going in the bathroom and sometimes you're just I'll scroll on my phone.
Speaker 1Oh, is that why men are in the bathroom for so long?
Speaker 2Yes, and what's going on in the bathroom for so long? Yes, what's going on in the news.
Speaker 1So you don't have like rectal issues.
Speaker 2No, not that I know of.
Speaker 1Wait, two girls at the same time.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Do they know?
Speaker 2When the weather heats up, people are getting horny.
Speaker 1This is Kelly Musgorski.
Speaker 2And Ryan Frankofsky and you're listening to Mocktails are Messy.
Speaker 1We're in a good mood today.
Speaker 2I know, is it the tequila? Yeah, for me it is. Well, we're going to introduce our mocktail and our messy. Today we have Withco Cocktails.
Speaker 1Yeah, so it's Friday night and we are getting down with with co yeah, baby with co did send us a mix. You do one part with co mix and one part liquor or the non-alcoholic liquor like I have today.
Speaker 2Yes, agave margarita makes 10 crafted cocktails with fresh juices and real botanicals. Withco with company cocktails. How do you like it?
Speaker 1So this is a really good flavor. This is actually my favorite mix that I've tried. It reminds me of when I was in Cabo. They squeezed the oranges and the limes and the lemon. It tastes amazing. Cheers to this. What do you think? Cheers to Withco.
Speaker 2I love, I love it. Actually, the mocktail is really good. I think it tastes like very fresh. Like you know, some of those margarita mixes are a little and even skinny girl. I like skinny girl but it's starting to get a little too preservative tasting yeah this is fresh dirks bentley, the country musician. He is a co-founder with josh ellis and we will have josh on the podcast coming up stay tuned yeah, so thank you, with co and sarah, for sending us to our production office.
Speaker 2It's really good. I love it. I I think that you're really into it, minus the sugar.
Speaker 1I'd say minus the sugar. But you really can't beat the flavor If you do a sugar-free margarita? It's not going to taste this good. It's not so this is for when I would want to splurge.
Speaker 2Exactly because we both are trying to get ready for summer, but we're not going to kill ourselves.
Speaker 1Not on a Friday night, no, but we're not gonna like kill ourselves. Not on a friday night, no, not on a friday night.
Speaker 2we're letting loose this weekend, kelly, and I'm digging the hair.
Speaker 1You look amazing with this long hair shout out to dawson at studio.
Speaker 2Raw oh dawson hooked you up.
Speaker 1Oh honey, he always hooks me up I love it and wait free hugs.
Speaker 2Can I get a hug?
Speaker 1Oh, yes, now. Okay, so we are wearing our Chucky shirts because we are both fans of the movie, but I need you to do your Chucky impression. Okay, hi, I'm Chucky. I'm a good guy, doll. We'll be friends till the end. Hidey ho and who's having nightmares tonight?
Speaker 2me, are you? No, actually I'm still scared of it. I love to be scared. Halloween is like amazing holiday, like it's just like the one night a year that you can be like very slutty or very sexy or very scary, like the three S's.
Speaker 1Once the Fourth of July is over, I start thinking about Halloween.
Speaker 2Yeah, Because she loves a good costume wait, wait for this year. You and I, we're gonna do it up I know I would love to do chucky, like you be I'll be the bride. Yes, and you be chucky well, we flip the shirts because I think it kind of simulates our personality. You're a little bit of the alpha female that keeps me in check, keeps the boys in check. Yep, me and your husband. And I'm a little bit of a fucking girl. I mean, no shame, like you know, I'm a little prima donna.
Speaker 1I like to, you know, I like embrace my feminine side you know what somebody has to keep you in check, and as long as the dynamic is working, then I'm happy to do that cheers with co and chucky yes.
Speaker 2I love a weird combo but let's cheers to that. I know.
Speaker 1So why were you late to my house yesterday?
Speaker 2Oh, well, I got a text message from alert your partner that somebody must have got an STI, an STD. They alerted me I had to go to the doctor, the clinic. I'm like when's the last time that I had a hookup? I don't remember. I think it was literally January.
Speaker 1Yeah, you told me it's been a long-ass time for you.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'm in work mode, I'm in study mode, but needless to say, I'm clear. I got tested, we're all good. I'm negative on all the results. I mean, I just think it's always scary when you get like a text message. It's like an alert system and you don't know who it's coming from. But it is a really important to alert your partners if you ever do find that you're in that predicament yes you know, I mean there is a lot of things going on, especially summer's heating up.
Speaker 2Usually it's getting sexy when the weather's, when the when the weather heats up, people are getting horny well, you know, everybody's showing more skin yes, yes you know I'm excited for my hot mom summer that I'm about to have. I know myself I didn't love the way I felt when I was, like you know, 20 pounds heavier during covid and eating whatever I wanted and drinking and but, but I will say I was loving life.
Speaker 1This is important. You told me that actually, when you got sober, you lost 18 pounds Weird, and that is quite a number, you know for all you did was cut drinking and then your life snowballed into something else.
Speaker 2I think for me I loved Corona, I love tequila, I love drinking munchies, all that stuff and so like. It was a lot of like open calories, a lot of sugar, a lot of like cheat meal snacks, like, and so for me it was just kind of like. You know, even though I was working out, I probably wasn't pushing myself as much because I was a little hungover the next day. And then on top of it it's like a lot of empty calories for me and I'm not a moderated, moderation type of guy, me same and I think that, like you know well, I know that alcohol does lower your ambition.
Speaker 1So it'll make you like flirt with someone that you wouldn't typically flirt with, or eat a whole, like half of a pizza, or a whole pizza in like, even if you're not hungry, like maybe I would have had chicken and rice and broccoli for dinner, but now that I had, you know, the margarita, I'm having a whole mexican dinner like you, gotta go hard right, so like I can totally see how you easily dropped 18 pounds when you stopped the booze yeah, and I don't have any judgment for somebody that wants to continue drinking and like, have moderation or maybe, like I always said, the pause from the sauce, because I think I've been doing that my whole life, ever since I turned 21.
Speaker 2I I've always been like, okay, you got to get ready for a shoot, or hey, you got to get ready for that vacation in Mexico. And so it would always be like, okay, I got to cut the booze or the drinking, because then I'm very focused and the empty calories behind it.
Speaker 1Yes, and I do want to talk about so. Like for me personally, my goal I'm cutting alcohol by 50% and. I have felt a world of a difference. I feel great. I'm not someone who wants to cut it completely from my life, because I do enjoy having it and I love the name that you gave me.
Speaker 2Yes, we got you, miss Misty.
Speaker 1Misty Add a little mist in there. Yeah, I'm not like super wet Like oh as a drinker, I love you.
Speaker 2I know that we're so inappropriate, but that's kind of like the mo between mocktails are messy, we like to get a little messy and that could be drinking. That could be just perverted inappropriateness we are perverted.
Speaker 1Yes, and then I really like your name. Yes, so you deemed yourself the dry guy. So that is bi-coastal, bisexual.
Speaker 2Oh for sure, okay, yeah I mean most people think like okay, well, he's been in relationship with like a guy and then another guy, but then in between those two relationships I was like on a summer fling with like these two girls back in 2019 two girls at the same time yeah what do they know?
Speaker 1oh my god, story time.
Speaker 2I mean, it was just one of those things that you know whenever it's like casual dating, that's the best. Like oh, you love to meet out with dinner, you love to like was everybody on the same page yeah they were.
Speaker 2So let's be honest, they were probably like, hey, you're just a piece of meat, it. That way I felt like because they knew that I was in a relationship with mish back in the day, and they were like, oh well, you know, like, hey, we'll have a good time and, like you know, we'll be getting down tonight, it's a little backstory. Michelle is a very sexy Israeli oh no, you, you did not nail it.
Speaker 1Kuwaiti, kuwaiti oh my gosh, I got confused. I was thinking about that flight attendant.
Speaker 2Oh my God, that was bad Okay.
Speaker 1So people were wondering, like how has our drinking changed since college? And that reminds me we tell a college story.
Speaker 2Yes, a good Penn State story. You came to visit me. You traveled from Slippery Rock. We love to go out, hit the bars. We were 21, and we hit the town hard.
Speaker 1A little bit too hard. Okay so before we went out, we definitely pre-gamed what was our drink of choice back then. So your favorite, because you could not do straight shots I still can't, I don't do that, so washington apple right yes, you like your washington apples.
Speaker 2You were a typical basic bitty. You like to have cranberry, jaeger and peach snobs. What an awful combination. But they do, surprisingly, when they're they do taste pretty good.
Speaker 1Okay, so who knows how many shots we took?
Managing Drinking, Addictive Behaviors, Social Media
Speaker 2Oh God, I mean, you know, that's the thing when you're like in college and you're just like getting done with midterms. I remember this Like we were both getting done with midterms and it worked out the same time. And then the weekend was a football weekend Michigan versus Penn State Wild. Everybody was up there and we went out to the bars. We had a lot of Washington apples and the lines were so long for the bathroom, yeah, so the lines were crazy long.
Speaker 1You'd have to wait at least a half an hour, and some of the gas stations, like they, didn't have restrooms inside.
Speaker 1Like you know, when you're like have to go so bad, and you're like drinking and having, like you know, so many liquids, you're like bladder can't handle so much, I'm going to compare it to like you know, those road trips that you go on and you've your bladder has never hurt worse than when you're stuck on the road and you just need to freaking get to a bathroom. So we're feeling like that okay, yeah, we go behind a dumpster and we start to freak a leak we took a freak, a leak, yeah we freaked a leak.
Speaker 2It was a freaky leak.
Speaker 1We're like okay, this is a good spot. There's like a hill behind yeah, it's like there's. There's nobody around. Nobody can see us here there's a fence.
Speaker 2I mean like we were not. I don't. I mean it was the best option, I thought.
Speaker 1I mean, unless we were gonna just pee our pants we would have peed our pants 100, so we zip up our pants after we like, took a piss together and we're walking back out that's not so vulgar after we urinated together after we relieved ourselves, okay yes and we're walking back to the sidewalk and a cop starts walking over to us out of nowhere. Out of nowhere, I don't know where the hell he was hiding. Yeah, it's almost like he was waiting for someone to pee there I know and we got slapped with two public urinations oh my god three hundred dollars. He was not proud.
Speaker 2Uh-uh, your daddy oh my god, I think my mom like tore me a new one. She was so pissed she saw it coming in the mail and right.
Speaker 1So I was smart, I I had it sent to my college house you were smart, so I mean, we just went and worked at the bbt bloomfield bridge tavern we were bartenders we bartended for a night.
Speaker 2We paid it, we paid it off, but it still was a big slap on the wrist I think it was a big wake-up call because you know that could be like a dangerous thing, like public indecency, like you know, like you're going the bathroom outside. I think it scarred me a little bit in a positive way, like I would never. Now, like I will hold it, I will make sure I find a bathroom. Yeah, I will do my best diligence of like being so much more aware of same.
Speaker 1I'll pee my pants first now, unless I'm hiking. I'll just go off and peel off into the woods if I'm hiking, but um, so yeah, I think to answer the question is like our drinking has changed significantly since college yes, I mean you're dry now I am like misty, we've really scaled it back.
Speaker 2We're not crazy anymore and I think you scaled it back because you have two children. I mean, you got to wake up in the morning, you got to take care of them.
Speaker 1I'd say I scaled it back like a few steps before the kids and then had to scale it back even more with the kids, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2I think for me there are different forms of like taking it too far. You know, I don't think like day to day I ever had an issue but like sometimes, like when I'm feeling myself and like going out, like I do really not know how to turn off, like the drinks, like and it can get expensive going out and just buying, buying, buying right and like and you're saying like you don't know how to turn it off, which makes me like want to bring up addictive personalities which I think we both have, like we do we both were runners.
Speaker 1We both um were like fitness enthusiasts yeah anything we do. It's almost like we get kind of like addicted to it right, even the phone, like scrolling and yes, oh my gosh, and I think that a lot of people have that problem. Have you looked like Instagram and Facebook? They'll it'll tell you how many hours you've been on. Have you ever looked at that? Because it's, it's startling.
Speaker 2I have and I'm like scared to look at it now, when you're like going in the bathroom and sometimes you're just I'll scroll on my phone and then you're like men are in the bathroom for so long. We're just looking at what's going on in the news so you don't have like rectal issues, not that I know of because I'm sorry, I'm like in and out, like it.
Speaker 1I don't have to sit there like pushing for like minute, like minutes, like it's crazy maybe we're embarrassed because we're on the phone too much, scrolling through tiktok and insta.
Speaker 2I mean it is bad. Like I will purposefully like at the certain point in the night, I will leave it upstairs, just because it's like another level in the home that you're like smart you're like okay, but I think with us it's tricky because, like you know, we're sending DMs for work, being involved in social media for our business. It becomes hard to manage the personal and the business kind of lines get blurred with the phone because there's emails and there's you know texting about scheduling and I almost feel like it is good to like have a work phone.
Navigating Peer Pressure and Sobriety
Speaker 1I think so too. Now I know that, like anytime, I've tried to drink less, and I know that you've had this issue since you've been, since you've been dry, there's always going to be peer pressure, people trying to like, force you to do something that you don't want to do, like drinking more, or drinking in general and I know that you had an experience recently I think that your story would be very valuable so that others know that they're not alone if you don't mind sharing.
Speaker 2Yes, I was with family, which are really fun, and they were in and out of town and they have restaurants and one owns a winery which is kind of crazy, I just realized and so like for them it's like part of their life, their culture, like you know, being in the restaurant business and owning bars and then like having like a wine and winery, and it's like for me, like coming in and saying like I'm not drinking and they're used to me being like the fun, wild franco, ryan franco, the party animal. Yeah, it's like it's hard now to kind of be like oh no, I'm good, like I'm just gonna do mocktails, like I will show up now with non-alcoholic beers, with like I even came with like non-alcoholic white claw and it was so undercover, like I think that's my biggest fear or obstacle is I want to be so undercover right I don't want it to be known.
Speaker 2Whenever there are people that are like oh, I miss the fun. Wild party, franco, I wish that you would just have a shot with me or I wish that you would just have like a real like you know, and so it felt uncomfortable having to have that conversation constantly. But luckily my cousin, who's pregnant, was really into the non-alcoholic beers. She loves IPA, she loves Athletica, she loves like finding out these new beers and her husband who is doing it with her, he's staying dry the whole nine months of her pregnancy.
Speaker 2Oh that's super cool, he's awesome. Yeah, like to do that and be like hey, I'm going to do it because it's not easy for you. I don't think it's difficult for her but, like you know, she wanted to just have like beers and now that she's found this like new line of like all these different non-alcoholic beers it really is like wow, maybe I don't need to drink or maybe I can implement the non-alcoholic beers with the real beers.
Speaker 1Right and I wanted to talk about best tips for cutting back. Yes, absolutely I know, in college you got away with it for so long before I actually noticed you were doing it.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1I remember on my 21st birthday. We're all taking shots and I look over and I see you throw this shot behind your shoulder. You just threw it behind your shoulder and like I called you out on it.
Speaker 2I remember and you were like honey, I've been doing this for years yeah I think I've been doing it since, like you know, probably since I was into the fitness. Because, like you know, when you go out with people and they just are like we're doing a shot, we're doing a shot and they will not let you and I don't want them to waste the money on my shot, so I'm just like, hey, just get me a water shot. Or if they're really adamant and they're like, no, you are taking this, I'll just be like if we're throw it back, you don't know, yeah, so I love that.
Speaker 1And then something I've been implementing is I did purchase some like non-alcoholic wine because I do like wine, so like I'll do one glass of alcoholic wine like normal wine and then I switch back and forth between the non-elk yeah, the saint viviana, would you really like the cabernet that we tried a couple episodes ago?
Speaker 2yeah, it's nice, it does. It doesn't really I.
Speaker 1I haven't found a non-alcoholic wine that I'm like wowed by I do want to get to that point of being able to find that, but hey, it's better than grape juice and then I'll say if you're doing like white claws, I like to alternate between like white claw or true, like truly or white claw, whatever I'm doing and a soda water like just a normal soda water, could be lime flavored, whatever you want. So you're alternating and I know we knew this way back 10 years ago.
Speaker 2They'd say you know, have a glass of water between yes each drink, and of course we never did that I know, I know it's like always, easier said than done right, but now I think it's fun to like implement you know something, just to slow you down a bit well, I even think with the non-alcoholic they were really good and they have.
Speaker 2Um, it's interesting. I mean some people think it's so stupid to like just not buy like a can of sparkling water or like a, you know, like a pellegrino or like a spin drift, but the non-elk white claw if you're at a party, good, if you're at a party, that's money yeah, yeah. And also, on top of it, it has electrolytes in it.
Speaker 1Ooh yeah, I didn't realize that that's cool.
Speaker 2They're trying to make it worth your investing in it.
Speaker 1So you wake up the next morning feeling super good.
Speaker 2Uh-huh, and if you implement both, then you're kind of keeping a good even keel.
Speaker 1There you go. Yeah, I really like that. Now, I know the other day you were going through a really hard time, something that I've been through as well.
Speaker 2Yes, like it's been just weighing on me because I'm just like really having problems. Because I used to be a people pleaser. I used to come in and out of town, like when I lived in LA or New York, and it was just so easy to just pop in and like play nice, and you know, not necessarily get along, but that I'm willing to play nice in the sandbox yeah, and I would like to for you to discuss how the dynamic changes when you go from a drinker to a non-drinker.
Speaker 2Mm-hmm, that is it. You nailed it. Yeah, that's what I'm struggling with. I am now completely sober. My beer goggles are off, my lenses are clear.
Speaker 1I'm much more, unfortunately judgmental because I know what I've been like I've been messy, I've been in it a little wild, inappropriate. You're not judgmental because I know what I've been like I've been messy, I've been in it like a little wild and appropriate. You're not judgmental. You're just not tolerating the same bullshit anymore. Not, let's get that straight, okay so I'm not judgmental because, I've been told I was judgmental. Since I've been please don't believe all the insults that you're told okay.
Speaker 2that's why it's probably good that I'm not a drinker anymore, because I'm like god if I had a drink and like I even know like going through the breakup, whatever I like was saying a lot of outlandish, crazy things because I was drinking the vino. But I mean, you know yourself with me like I'm like the nicest guy, like I'm not ever trying to like create conflict or drama, like I might have like a good laugh and like I might like make fun of you, but I want you to make fun of me and it's all in playful character or form.
Speaker 2I used to people please, because I felt like certain people really need that validity. Validity, validation, okay, validation really need that validity, that validity, validation, okay, validation, and we'll have to see if validity is even a word.
Speaker 1I think it is, maybe not. I don't think people realize actually like how intelligent you are because you really have like dumb blonde personality.
Speaker 2Well, cheers to us learning vocabulary. Cheers.
Subscribe to Mocktails Are Messy
Speaker 1Or cheers to making up our own words. Thank you for listening to. Mocktails are Messy. This is.
Speaker 2Ryan Frankofsky and Kelly Misgorski.
Speaker 1Oh shit, this is Ryan.
Speaker 2Frankofsky.
Speaker 1And Kelly Misgorski.
Speaker 2I think we kept talking over each other. We did hey, you, you, you.
Speaker 1I think we kept talking over each other. Hey, you, you, you, I'm talking to you. You need to subscribe.
Speaker 2Please, we would love for you to subscribe to. Mocktails Are Messy. All we request is you to subscribe to our channel. Chucky's gonna get you.
Speaker 1Chucky's gonna get you. Oh, my god.
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